Bridging the Gap Between Families/ Co-Parenting
In this picture everyone looks Happy, which we were I might add, but it wasn’t always this way. It took years as Divorced Parents to figure out the new roles we played as separate parents; how we treated and spoke to each other effected the kids, and how it ultimately sets the dynamic for the family relationship as a whole.
Blended families celebrate holidays, kids birthdays and special life events together. Focus on the kids, they don’t want to have to choose where they will be spending holiday’s. Children need structure and it’s important to know Mom & Dad care enough about them not to split time between them so they get the most out of the memories shared. I know that this is the most ideal situation and that all families can’t be blended; a lot of different relationships and personalities are involved. If that’s your situation, then just have a common ground, and a plan to maintain structure.
Make the plans well ahead of time for Birthday and Holiday celebrations. Along with your New Year’s resolutions, set a yearly event schedule so the kids know exactly what they will be doing during their New Year. It will give them a year of things to look forward to and plan accordingly; like getting to see friends that live by Mom or Dad.
Important things to consider when you are both active in your children’s lives and TRULY want what’s best for them, is to put all the personal things aside between the two of you, hurt feelings, anger, or betrayal. Whatever the reasons you are separated in the first place. It will allow your kids to flourish feeling loved and whole. It gives them their first insight of effective communication.
Here are a few tips that may help you along the Co-Parenting path
- Be respectful and professional – we have all dealt with coworkers we don't really care for and we find ways to cohabit-ate appropriately in the workforce, take the same approach.
- Create a Plan – Make sure that you come to an agreement, even if you have to have a coordinator do this for you
- Communicate Effectively – Ineffective communication is one of the main reasons you might have split up in the first place, find out what works for you. Talking, texting, or emailing.
- Never, Never bad mouth your Co- Parent in front of your children – This one is self-explanatory
- Let it GO & Then let it GO again – your co-parent isn’t going to enforce the same rules & consequences, go back to effective communication and being professional. The most important thing is that you agree on Critical Values.
- Give your kids a sense of security – Don’t sweat the small stuff, allow them to take their items between both households. If they are allowed access to it in your house, they should be able to have access to it at the co-parents’ house.
Successful Co – Parenting Bridges the Gap!
HAPPY BLENDING!!!!!!!!!!!
